Why are you on your cell phone at the gym?

My morning ritual is to now get up early at the ass crack of dawn to go to the gym. I figure its the best time because its not crowded and if I have to work late I won't miss the gym. But here's something that has really been getting on my nerves.

My frustration actually began on this bus this morning. Who in the fucking world was the girl on the bus talking to on her cell phone at 5:30 AM! You are as far east as possible in this time zone so unless you're talking to someone overseas or in Hawaii you shouldn't be on the phone at 5:30 in the morning. If Melissa had called at 5:30 just to chat I'd kick her in the shins! 5:30 am on the bus means sleepy time before we start our days.

The gym I go to is the NYSC in the Crown Plaza at 49th and Broadway so there are a few traveling businessmen there who find the need to work out in jeans. Ok I get it, you didn't bring clothes to work out in just your jeans and a nasty under-shirt from the day before. Plus its early so the store isn't open yet. Its ok, I'll let it slide.

But the guy on his cell phone in the gym who is sitting on his fat ass on the machine I need to use is annoying. First of all, who in the world is that important that you need to speak to them at 6:15 am! Explain that to me! Next, are you that important that you need to be on the phone not only at 6:15 but at the gym period! Are you a doctor? The president? An expecting father? If you're none of those either hang up the fucking phone or get off the machine so other people can use it.

I'm not some muscle head but I do enjoy working out in peace so if I can hear your conversation over the music on my iPod - that is turned all the way - we have a problem. No one at the gym needs to know what you ate for dinner last night buddy. Hang the phone up or move! Its really annoying.

Then you have the chicks who are all dolled up in their tight clothes on the treadmill. At least you're trying to get rid of that muffin top you got going on. But if you can speak at a normal pace without heavy breathing while you're on the treadmill then you're not doing much. Either hang up the phone because no one gives a shit what you're wearing to work today except for you and the girl on the other end of the phone. Who most likely is on a treadmill at another gym annoying the shit out of someone there too.

You're fat! Get off the phone! Walk a little faster you'll be amazed at the results.