You've probably heard the Bud Light "Real Men of Genius" Commericials but I want to create my own. If this one doesn't already exist well then I couldn't find it on the internet - "Mr. Short Loose Skirt Maker."
Over the past number of years of working in this city I have been fortunate enough to see some fun and interesting things. Today was no exception. Just leaving NikeTown I headed up towards 5th Avenue going to the deli near my office. As I was crossing the street a girl on her cellphone rudely cut in front of me which annoys the shit out of me. Learn to fucking walk and talk on your cell phone or do us all a favor and stand off to the side while you're on your phone. I've got places to be and shit to do...i don't need you cutting in front of me or lollygagging like so tourist. It bothers me. Besides not only do i dislike tourists, I hate HATE the cell phone. Useless piece of shit. :)
Ok now that I got that off my chest!
So rude girl cuts in front of me and the truck driver stopped at the light is whistling at her. At first I thought he was whistling at me because who knows what kind of weirdos are wandering this city. Shit I'm probably one of them.
(Ok focus here will ya!)
I look over at the girl who just cut me off and notice that she's wearing a short loose skirt. You know the kind I'm talking about, girls all over are wearing them. You see them all the time. Well she's walking in the same direction that I am headed so I guess I have to follow her. Which doesn't not constitute that I am being perverted because i have to go back to work.
I'm about 5 feet behind her now because thankfully she's off the damn phone and walking at a faster pace. She probably got off the phone because she knew what was going to happen next. Mother Nature must have been on my side during my lunch time stroll because just after the girl hung up the phone her skirt blew up. Two butt cheeks just hanging out of a few seconds. There is nothing wrong with noticing that. I mean I'm walking in that direction. I'm looking straight ahead and ZOOM up goes the skirt.
Now this isn't as great of a story as the one from 4 years ago when I was behind a girl whose skirt blew up. That time, and this was long before Melissa came into my life, i had positioned myself strategically. That would be considered perverted. This time I was walking my normal route to my office from my weekly Friday Afternoon stroll to NikeTown. Plus once I got to 6th ave I made a right to go to the deli.
That was my story. Nothing too crazy or wild. Just a skirt blowing up in the wind. It happens. But its also one of the contributing factors as to why I don't wear skirts. I mean I do have a butt like an onion. It just makes me cry.