Thursday, July 28, 2005

Sweating Like a Fat Kid at a Buffet!

If you know me, you know I sweat. Seriously. Why I am sharing this? Because there's a story behind this that has caused my pits to wet my shirt and I haven't done one damn strenuous thing today! But here's the background first. I am very self conscious of the sweating. I keep an extra stick of deodorant in my desk drawer along with another extra stick in my bag for work. Plus I've started carrying Axe Body Spray. Just because I can't control the sweat doesn't mean that I can allow myself to smell as well.

The odd thing is that when I talk to people they find it necessary to stare at my armpits. I'm probably not even sweating when they start staring but once I realize that they are something happens. My brain sends a message to my pits that is probably something along these lines "Make the fat bastard start sweating...Release the Hounds!" Then wham! sweat! shirt stuck to my pits. I've been able to find ways to cover it up. Extra shirts. Not leaving my desk. but now i'm runing out of ways to hide. So here is where this point less babble comes from.

This morning I got on the elevator in my building to go up to my office. The elevator was packed at 9 am. Standing with my back to the side wall, two girls got on across from me. I could see them looking at me giggling. Shit! Am I sweating!? Wait who isn't sweating its 90 degrees outside right now. Then I thought it was because my iPod was blasting Pink Floyd so early in the morning.

The elevator stops at the 8th floor. The girls along with everyone else get out of the elevator. As soon as those doors close, I lift my arms to check. Small little spots of sweat but nothing noticeable. But since that moment this morning, sweat. It doesn't help that i'm wearing a lavendar shirt. Yes i just said lavendar! That's what it said on the tag that I took off of it this morning.

Now I have to go to a work function where I'll be sitting on a boat cruising around the Hudson River with potential clients. Sweaty pits and 42 pounds of deodorant. Well at least I won't smell...or so I think.

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