Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Look To The Cookie!

A black girl with big boobs to my left. Another girl dressed in business attire in front of her. A red-head standing behind me. What do these three women have in common with one another? They were all standing on line at Subway at 56th street waiting to pay along with me. Whatelse do they have in common? They were all offered a free cookie by the guy working at the register. Was I offered a free cookie? Nope. Why? Probably because I don't have boobs.

This isn't the first time its happened to me either. So don't go thinking that this is a one time event. No this has consistently happened every time I've been there to get lunch in the last month. I understand that bars sometimes only let groups of girls in and not groups of guys but this isn't a bar and it wasn't a social event. Its a matter of me doing my best to get fatter!

Now that I've been sexually discrimenated against I took matters into my own hands. Standing at the register after paying for my meal and hearing him offer a free cookie to the red-head I turned. Looked at the cookies like a criminal. Reached across this girl. Grabbed a White-Chocolate Chip Cookie and turned away from the counter.

Feeling as though I just beat the system I proceded to stuff the entire cookie into my mouth. They couldn't charge me for what they couldn't prove I had taken. With cookie crumbs in the corners of my lips, I walked out of Subway 150 calories heavier and a whole lot happier!


It Would Be Cooler If You Did said...

Fuck 'em, I'd a stole the cookie too!

Jared said...

Neither cookies nor larceny are part of my diet bitch! recognize!

James Vernor said...

Damn the man! Down with Jared!

Anonymous said...

Nothing can ruin a day like being boobless!

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